การเลิกราในเนเธอร์แลนด์: การหย่าร้าง การเป็นคู่ชีวิต และการอยู่ร่วมกัน

How you break up in the Netherlands depends on your legal status: a marriage ends only by court order, a registered partnership without children can be ended by a joint declaration, and an informal cohabitation ends without any procedure. That status decides who may stay in the home, how property and debts are divided, whether a parenting plan is required and whether a residence permit based on the relationship survives.

The most important exception: a registered partnership cannot be ended by declaration if the partners have joint children over whom they exercise authority (Article 1:80c(3) of the Dutch Civil Code, BW); it then goes to court like a divorce.

Which rules apply to your relationship?

Dutch law has three forms, and they are not interchangeable. Marriage (huwelijk) and registered partnership (geregistreerd partnerschap) have almost the same effects: shared property, a mutual duty of support, pension rights and, in most cases, joint parental authority.

Living together without either, with or without a cohabitation contract (samenlevingscontract), is the third form. There is no common-law marriage in the Netherlands: ten years of living together gives no automatic right to maintenance or pension. You have what you agreed in a contract, what you can prove you own, and your share in what you bought together.

Before you take any step, establish four things: your legal status, whether there are minor children, and whose name is on the lease or mortgage deed and on the bank accounts. Those answers decide the route.

How do you end a marriage?

Only the court can dissolve a marriage, on a petition (verzoekschrift) filed by a lawyer with the district court (rechtbank). The only ground is irretrievable breakdown (duurzame ontwrichting) under Article 1:151 BW; there is no fault requirement and no waiting period.

In a joint petition, the spouses agree the terms in a divorce covenant (echtscheidingsconvenant) and ask the court to confirm them; see วิธีการหย่าร้างอย่างรวดเร็ว. In a one-sided petition, the other spouse can file a defence and the court decides the disputed points. Consent is not required: การหย่าร้างสามารถได้รับการอนุมัติได้แม้ว่าคู่สมรสของคุณจะคัดค้านก็ตามแต่ a contested divorce takes longer and costs more.

If there are minor children, the petition must include a parenting plan signed by both spouses (Article 815(2) of the Dutch Code of Civil Procedure, Rv). The divorce takes effect only when the order is entered in the civil status register; if that request is not made within six months after the order becomes final, the order lapses (Article 1:163 BW).

During the proceedings, either spouse can ask for interim measures (voorlopige voorzieningen) under Article 821 Rv, such as exclusive use of the home, temporary maintenance and arrangements for the children.

จะยุติความสัมพันธ์แบบหุ้นส่วนที่จดทะเบียนได้อย่างไร?

Without joint children under your authority, by mutual agreement. Both partners and one or more lawyers or civil-law notaries sign a dated declaration that the partnership has broken down irretrievably (Article 1:80c(1)(c) and 1:80d BW).

The declaration must reach the civil status registrar within three months after the agreement is concluded (Article 1:80d(3) BW). Registration ends the partnership, not the signature. With joint children, the partnership is dissolved by the court along the same lines as a divorce, parenting plan included.

What happens when cohabitants separate?

An informal cohabitation ends without filing or registering anything. If you have a notarial cohabitation contract, read it first: it usually sets a notice period and says how household goods and the home are divided.

Without a contract, ownership follows title and proof: the name on the invoice, registration or deed decides. Things you own together form a simple community, and either co-owner can demand division at any time (Article 3:178 BW). There is no statutory maintenance duty between former cohabitants and no pension equalisation.

Who may stay in the home?

That depends on whether you rent or own, and on your status. Moving out, handing in keys or deregistering from the address can end your own rights, so settle the housing position in writing first.

บ้านเช่า

A spouse or registered partner of a tenant is automatically co-tenant (medehuurder) as long as the home is their main residence, even if only one of them signed the lease (Article 7:266 BW). After the divorce or dissolution, the court can decide who continues the lease.

A cohabiting partner only becomes co-tenant with the landlord’s written consent or, if the landlord does not agree within three months of a joint request, by court order after a lasting joint household (Article 7:267 BW). Without that status, the partner who is not on the lease has no right to stay once the tenant ends the joint household.

บ้านที่เจ้าของอาศัยอยู่

If you own the home together, either sell it or let one partner take it over. A takeover requires a valuation, the lender’s consent to release the departing partner from the mortgage, and a notarial deed. Until the lender agrees, the partner who moved out stays fully liable for the mortgage debt.

A spouse living in the marital home can ask the court for the right to continue living there for six months after the divorce is registered, against reasonable payment (Article 1:165 BW). Do not change the locks on a home the other person has a right to use; ask the court for exclusive use instead.

How are property, debts and maintenance divided?

For marriages and registered partnerships entered into on or after 1 January 2018, the default is a limited community of property (Article 1:94 BW): what each partner owned before, or received by gift or inheritance, stays private. A community is divided in equal shares unless otherwise agreed (Article 1:100 BW).

A partner who deliberately conceals an asset belonging to the community loses their share in it to the other (Article 3:194(2) BW). If you have prenuptial agreements with a periodic settlement clause that was never carried out, the assets present at the end are presumed to be subject to settlement (Article 1:141(3) BW).

Agreements between you about debts do not bind the creditor. A bank, lender or the Belastingdienst can still claim from whoever signed, so a real release needs the creditor’s written consent. Keep paying joint debts while you negotiate, because arrears are registered and limit your borrowing capacity.

Spousal maintenance (partneralimentatie) ends by law after half the length of the marriage, with a maximum of five years, unless the court sets another term (Article 1:157(1) BW). Exceptions apply for marriages of more than fifteen years and for spouses with children under twelve. The amount follows the annual Tremanormen of the Expert Group on Alimony Standards; see also when the maintenance obligation ends.

Pension rights built up during a marriage or registered partnership are equalised under the Pension Rights Equalisation (Divorce) Act (WVPS). Notify the pension administrator within two years of the divorce, or the former partner will not be paid directly. For the tax consequences, consult a tax adviser.

แล้วเด็ก ๆ ล่ะ?

Parental authority does not end with the relationship: parents who had joint authority keep it after a divorce (Article 1:251(2) BW). Since 1 January 2023, a partner who acknowledges a child in principle has joint authority with the mother automatically (Article 1:251b BW).

Unmarried parents with joint authority who end their cohabitation must also draw up a parenting plan (Article 1:247a BW). The plan covers the division of care, how you inform and consult each other, and the costs; see ขั้นตอนในการหย่าร้าง.

Child maintenance is owed until 18, and parents must also contribute to the living and study costs of children aged 18 to 21 (Article 1:395a BW). If the paying parent defaults, the National Maintenance Collection Agency (LBIO) can collect the payments.

What if your residence permit depends on the relationship?

A residence permit for residence with a partner depends on that relationship. The end of the relationship must be reported to the IND, and the permit can be withdrawn.

Continued residence may be possible, for example on humanitarian grounds after domestic violence or after several years of residence. Take advice before you change your address registration. Since 15 April 2025, the IND no longer owes an administrative penalty (dwangsom) for a late decision, but you can still appeal against a failure to decide in time.

What can you do if the break-up becomes unsafe?

Repeated unwanted contact, following or watching can be stalking (belaging) under Article 285b of the Dutch Criminal Code, punishable by up to three years in prison. Prosecution requires a complaint (klacht) by the victim, so report it to the police.

A civil court can also impose a contact or area ban in summary proceedings because the conduct is unlawful (Article 6:162 BW), usually with a penalty for each breach. If there is a threat of violence at home, the mayor can impose a temporary restraining order (tijdelijk huisverbod) for ten days, which can be extended to at most four weeks (Articles 2 and 9 of the Temporary Domestic Exclusion Order Act). Veilig Thuis is the national advice and reporting point for domestic violence; in immediate danger, call 112.

Keep evidence such as messages, screenshots and a dated log. Do not log into the other person’s accounts without permission: that is computer trespass under Article 138ab of the Criminal Code.

What should you do in the first weeks?

Start with the four questions on status, children, housing and accounts. Then open your own bank account, have your salary paid into it, and list the joint direct debits.

Change passwords and stop sharing locations, calendars and photo albums. Handle the move as a documented transaction: date, inventory with photos, meter readings and keys returned against e-mail confirmation. Confirm every arrangement in writing on the same day, in neutral language; those messages become the file if the case goes to court. Where you can still talk, a family mediator can help you draw up a covenant and parenting plan that the court then confirms.

What should you check as a spouse or registered partner?

• Check whether you married or registered before or after 1 January 2018, and whether you have prenuptial or partnership agreements.
• Check whether there are joint minor children: then a parenting plan and court proceedings are required.
• Check whose name is on the lease or mortgage, and whether you want to use Article 1:165 BW for six months’ continued residence.
• Ask for a full list of assets and debts; concealing assets costs your share (Article 3:194(2) BW).
• Diary the six-month deadline to register the divorce and the two-year deadline to notify the pension administrator.

What should you check as an unmarried cohabitant?

• Check whether you have a cohabitation contract and what it says about notice, the home and household goods.
• Check whether you are co-tenant under Article 7:267 BW before you leave a rented home.
• Collect proof of ownership of what you bought, and list what you own together.
• Check whether you have joint authority over your children; if so, draw up a parenting plan.
• Check with the lender how a joint mortgage can be transferred or ended.

What can we do for you with breaking up?

Our ทนายความครอบครัว และ ทนายความการหย่าร้าง advise spouses, registered partners and cohabitants at every stage.

• We assess your legal position in one conversation: status, property regime, housing and children.
• We draft the divorce covenant, the parenting plan or the termination declaration for a registered partnership.
• We file the divorce petition and any request for interim measures.
• We calculate spousal and child maintenance using the Tremanormen.
• We prepare the division of property and the pension notification within the deadlines.
• We apply for a contact or area ban in summary proceedings where needed.

สรุป

• A marriage ends only by court order on the ground of irretrievable breakdown (Article 1:151 BW); register the order within six months.
• A registered partnership without joint children can end by a signed declaration registered within three months.
• Cohabitants have no statutory maintenance or pension rights; contract and proof of ownership decide.
• Parents keep joint authority after separation and must agree a parenting plan.
• Spousal maintenance runs at most half the length of the marriage, in principle up to five years (Article 1:157 BW).

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